So That's What A Bath Is

I had sort of forgotten what a bath is.  I remember now.  It's the time when I have to get wet everywhere and when Mom makes me smell weird and boring, like when she cleans the house.  I guess bath is another word for clean.  ...I don't really like taking a clean.

It took Mom a while to get me into the tub.  She talked to me for a long time, telling me what a good boy I am.  This is true.  We both know it.  So why was she telling me?  Right off the bat, this made me a little suspicious.  Then she put peas in the tub, and I forgot to be suspicious.  I love peas.  LOVE THEM.

So there I was, in the tub.  And do you know what she did?  That woman poured water ALL OVER ME!  And if it didn't get in a place - and I won't tell you all the places it did go - she poured it again, and rubbed it in.  Okay, I did kind of like the rubbing part.  That made me stay still.  I wasn't happy; but at least I was getting some pets out of the deal.

So there I was, wet in the tub.  And do you know what else she did?  That woman started rubbing something into my fur!  Everywhere, again!  Okay, it smelled a little nice.  Like sunflowers.  And it felt super great to have a finger massage deep down into my skin.  It was kind of relaxing, actually.  If it hasn't been for the wet part and the tub part, I think it would have been really fun.  As it was, I just sort of stood there and let her give me a massage.  I figured she realized it was the least she could do.  After the massage, MORE water, and then...the bath was over!  And she was telling me even more what a good boy I am.  Well, yeah, after putting up with that nonsense, you bet I am!  

When we were done she squeezed the water off of me and my tail - that was kind of fun, too - and then she just stood there.  Well, not exactly.  She kept offering me a milkshake.  "Shake, Henry?" she'd say, and I was fine with this, so I kept waiting for her to bring one.  But she never did.  "Shake, Henry?"  Wait..........nothing.  "Shake?"  ..........nothing again.  I don't know why she was doing that.  Seems kind of mean to me.  Anyway, she seemed to tire of this game after a little while, so she let me get out of the tub.  So I did and then I finally got to get all the water off me!  I might be a little dog in a big world, I'm only 24" high, but I dried off really hard and got water almost as high as the ceiling.  In both the bathroom AND the bedroom.  I bet Mom was impressed!

Now I'm sitting on the balcony with Mom.  I like the balcony.  Birds fly close to the railing, which is very exciting; sometimes fish splash in the water, which is almost as exciting; and of course the air smells amazing.  It's like watching all your favorite TV channels at once.  We played the towel game - where she rubs me with a towel and tells me what a good boy I am some more - and somehow now I am a lot less wet, so the air just feels good on my skin.   My weird, boring skin.

Today better be a great day.